The pleasure's all mine
But I'll sell it to you cheap!
Cheap cheap cheap!
At least cheaper than the guy next door
But that's because, as I said, the pleasure's all mine
(and I'm making room for more!)
Would you like some happiness?
It comes in a brightly colored box!
It's right where you can afford...
Whoops! The price went up
Because THEY just ran out.
So I'm the only one on the block
With some, don't you doubt.
Replace that outdated melancholy
With a little bit of cheerfulness
You don't want it now, but I know you will
Because the one selling it to you is Tess.
She's tall and blonde and beautiful
A Barbie come to life
She's not really the brightest
And to get through her skin you'd need a chainsaw not a knife!
I bought out all the rest of them
You can only come to me
I don't play fair (never did)
And that's the way it'll always be.